When I see myself in the mirror, I am seeing someone else. I feel like, the person I am looking at is not me. I am living in someone else's body. I feel like I don't recognise myself anymore. My body is like outgrowing and my mental state is really not. The hair, eyes, fingers, hands, lips, ears, everything seems like before but doesn't feel like before. My body is not feeling like a Home. I am a guest in my fucking body.
Feels like yesterday when I look at myself in the mirror, I know how she smiles, how she cries, the thing she loves, the thing that makes her inspire, the things that she wants to accomplish, her future goals, her dreams. I know everything about that girl. when I saw myself in the mirror, always pictured myself with Sanyog hugging me from behind, taking a glance at both of us and saying that yes, we do look cute together. And that magnificent smile. I haven't seen this smile like forever.
I really feel the distance between myself. I don't really know who I am, what I want, what my future holds, or what I want to do in future. I feel like living in the utter darkness,. Any lights will not be enough for me to bring back to my old self when I was happy.
Now, I am not even trying to do or feel like myself. I am just waiting for death to come. I am already dead. Don't want to live even a second when Sanyog is not by my side.
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