I was at Kajal's home, sleeping soundly. all of sudden my eyes open a bit I understood where I was and I found myself crying in bed, I can't stop crying, it was hard to breath and very hard to control myself, I think that was a panic attack in sleep because of dreams.
in that dream, I saw some dead people right infant of me while I was alive. it was a very nice memory lane. everyone was there except Sanyog. I was just meeting and greeting with everyone and moving on to new person. it was almost like I am dead and now I am able to see all the dead person and moving on to next place or I was actually in future and have some super powers that give me capability to let me see future. All of a sudden I saw my one sister I forget who she is, someone is telling me news that Seema had a boy now, kali was there with me. my mind is not be able to understand who is dead in that scenario. I was not worried about myself at all because I was happy meeting with other dead person, after watching my baby sister I just couldn't keep it to myself, I can't stop crying, not even in dream and not even when I was awake.
it's good that I was at kajal's home, there'll be people who can watch over me. Pooja helped me a lot, Kajal was not well at that time but she was awake with me till very late and keep checking on me. I couldn't sleep after that.
It was near by 2 or 2:30 when I had that dream, I was up till 5. I had similar kind of dream when Sanyog and I were together, I started crying in my sleep only which I am not aware of. start crying so hard that Sanyog woke up and wake me up from that dream. I was not able to control at that time as well, he just hugged me and I kept crying in his arms. after a while when I control my emotions; he said, drink some water first. do you want me to tell you what was the dream? and after a sip of water I explained what was that and he said, it was just a dream, we are here together and that means everything is alright. I guess alright was not for so long.
After this dream at Kajal's home, all I want is to talk with Sanyog, explain my dream to him and sleep in his arms like it was just A dream and when I'll wake up again everything will be okay. but I couldn't sleep. I was vulnerable, I need to talk with some one familiar so I messaged Parth and Ahaana that, thank you for being with me when I can't be with me. coincidently he was awake at that time he called me at the same time and we talked, talked for hours. we lost trek of time, we talked about our insecurities, dilemmas, future, relationship, family, job, death and what not. it was nearby 5, we both had busy day coming up, body needs some sleep and I felt better after that talk.
Sometimes I wonder don't know what am I, If some person won't cross their path with me and decided to stay. I would be lost. I am really great full for persons that I have in my life.
